love is cheese.

“He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing.” 

-Sherman Alexie (credit)

I think love is easier to develop than a choice is. Don’t get me wrong, love is almighty and much bigger than anything you or I could ever comprehend. But a choice holds you accountable and for that, it can be difficult. Choice, you have power over. Let’s be real, there are a lot of people that I love and for that matter, love dearly. But do I really want to spend every day of my life next to them?

Choosing to spend your life with someone is equivalent to your favorite cheese. You find that cheese that you love so much and you decide to get a lifetime supply of it. But what happens? After time, when the excitement fades and you’re constipated from the reaping of your reward, that cheese develops some unfavorable parts. On the outside it seems like an obstacle but deep down you know that all you have to do is cut off that moldy area and voila!, you’re right back to that cheese you loved so much. So you deal it. You cut it off and while you know the mold may come back eventually, you admire it for what it is in that moment. 

Love is this multi-dimensional “thing” and we’ve been entrusted with it in this lifetime and it’s amazing. You can physically feel it, you can verbally announce it to those you share it with and in return, it can make you feel everything from terror to pain, and joy to relief. Love is a fickle object. It’s stronger than it is weak and it’s big. It’s huge, in fact. But, love is independent. It grows on it's own and you can't force it. You can, however, make the decision.

I always knew what my decision would be, but I still can’t get over the fact that I was chosen all the same. Sure, there’s mold in the cheese sometimes, but you take care of it, toss it out, forget about it and then you relish in the good parts.

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July 25th will be three years since Cade and I said our "I do's" and the best part about that day was him choosing to spend his life with me. He did it so effortlessly and with pure joy! To think that he gave me that moment and continues to give me his days is enough to prove that this life is beautiful and worth living to my fullest. 

Thank you sweet boy.