let's make this quick [links]

Let me first start with Aly Raisman's statement, in court, to Larry Nassar. I had to stop so many times while reading it to wipe the tears from my eyes. Tears of pain for what those girls went through, and equal tears of empowerment. Talk about strength and facing your fears. If you have a few minutes to spare then I would highly encourage you to read it. It's moving, it's heartfelt, and it's strong. Here is a quick article and a video of the speech, and here is a word-for-word excerpt of her entire statement. If you can't read the entire thing, then, please, at least read this bit: 

I am here to face you Larry, so you can see I have regained my strength — that I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor. I am no longer that little girl you met in Australia where you first began grooming and manipulating.

As for your letter yesterday, you are pathetic to think that anyone would have any sympathy for you. You think this is hard for you? Imagine how all of us feel.

Imagine how it feels to be an innocent teenager in a foreign country, hearing a knock on the door, and it’s you. I don’t want you to be there, but I don’t have a choice. Treatments with you were mandatory. You took advantage of that. You even told on us if we didn’t want to be treated by you, knowing full well the troubles that would cause for us.

Lying on my stomach with you on my bed, insisting that your inappropriate touch would help to heal my pain. The reality is you caused me a great deal of physical, mental and emotional pain. You never healed me. You took advantage of our passions and our dreams. (Aly Raisman)

Some of you might remember over last summer (Summer 2017), there was a dialect test going around the interwebs? Well, I took it and here are all of the results. I found this SUPER interesting!  

If I haven't already tried some of these teas, then I want to! The ones I have tried from that list are some of my favorite, so I'm sure the others will blow my mind all the same.

Just came across this blog and I am obsessed. I could spend hours reading it. New favorite! 

Let's talk podcasts: 

Endless Thread was just recently released and it's already a top chart fav of mine.
Atlanta Monster started as a "got him!" and is quickly turning into a "who dun' it?!" 
Stuff You Should Know (SYSK) has been around for a bit, but I am really loving it and I haven't ever talked about it! 
How I Built This is incredible! Just start with the Kate and Andy Spade episode and go from there. It's a rabbit hole that I gladly got sucked into! 

Speaking of Kate Spade, I learned (by listening to the podcast) that she no longer owns her original brand (as in, 0% ... zilch, nada!), but has since started a new one. It's named Frances Valentine and I am in love. I may never be able to afford anything from there, but hey... a gal can dream! 

I just recently finished The Assistants and I really enjoyed it! I found myself relating to the main character in so many ways which kind of made me imagine myself in her situation. The only difference is that I am not... an assistant. BUT, if I were then it would be spooky. 

I also JUST finished Behind Closed Doors and, WOW! What a great story. There were some parts that were difficult to read (verbal abuse) but if you can get past that then it's incredible. There's also a wonderful twist at the end that made me giddishly holler "YES GIRL!". 

And now I'm reading Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. I'll have to report back on that one later. My goal is to read 3-4 books each month of 2018. So far, so good! 

That's all I've got for today. Enjoy! 

thank you.

Vulnerability is like walking through an empty, dark street in the middle of the night. It might lead to disaster, but it'll probably lead to something beautiful from the strength you gain in the end.

My last post was one of those things where I wasn’t entirely sure that I was mentally ready to click “submit” yet, or ever really. But then I did and right after that my phone rang. It was a call from a lifetime best friend (soul mate, to be more specific) and I completely wiped the memory of that post from my mind. We chatted like girlfriends do and when I hung up I watched the screen of my phone drop one notification after another and then, I was reminded again. I set my phone down and had a conversation with Cade. It was about how the post was personal and I didn’t want anyone to take it the wrong way, but I also wanted people to truly know how I felt. We proceeded to eat dinner and clean the kitchen… I handed my day over to the comfort of my couch and only then did I pick my phone up and look at those notifications.

My heart swelled and there was a huge sigh of relief that followed. I felt loved and encompassed by goodness and most importantly, I made it through that dark alley and felt secure.

Here’s the thing though, those of you who reached out in any form to share your thoughts, weren’t just speaking to me in a way that relates to my post, but it shows who you are as a person. Not only was I reminded that I wasn’t alone but to my surprise, I was also shown that that there are so many good people that I am surrounded by. It's not that I didn’t already know this, but it reassured me. Because of your kind words, and your testimonies to your own life, I feel more comfortable.

I’ve said it many times, but, I enjoy writing in my little corner of the internet through this blog. Creating posts, and looking up synonyms to words I fear that I use too much, and forming sentences from those words. It brings me joy and satisfaction. In a weird way, I feel like I’m contributing a part of myself to this world. 

More than anything though, I love the feedback and support that I receive. I love being reminded of the good people here, in my lifetime. And there are a lot of good people here. I appreciate you. Thank you for the kind words and support in any form. It doesn't go unnoticed and it means more to me that I can comprehend, or explain.

am I doing this right?

Here’s what’s coming up for me in 2018: I’m turning 28. I’ve been with Cade for seven years and we’ll have been married for three of them. 

Here’s what is potentially coming up for me in 2018: Could we be moving? Are we really, honestly starting to talk about when the right time to have kids is (not saying this is physically happening in 2018, but the conversation is at least). Saving all the money I can, even if that means cancelling subscription boxes, not making those unnecessary purchases, and (god forbid) going out less.

Here’s what is not likely to happen in 2018: Having a child, buying a house, or a big luxurious vacation (see: saving money).

Sometimes, I feel like I am getting it all wrong. Should I know where I want to be planted by now? Am I a “settler” for still living near my hometown (this is a HUGE frustration of mine that I, too often, hear people talk about that is a completely different conversation to have. If you move away, great! If you want to stay where you grew up, great! Who are you to determine, or judge where someone wants to live?!... Calming down now.) Anyway, one day, I’m happy that I’m living my own personal good life, going out with friends, kid-free and enjoying (for the most part) being able to do whatever I want to do. But then I have days where I wonder if it’s time I settle down a little more, buy a house… start building a family.

I usually file it under “that tricky age” in my brain box, never to be thought of again. But it always finds a way to make it in my “daily anxious thoughts” list.

I have so many friends who have some beautiful families. I mean, if you’re reading this, and you think you might be a friend that I’m referring to because you have a family and you’re happily living your best life, then yes, I’m talking about you. It’s pure joy to see the people around me becoming moms and dads and taking the role like true champs.

There’s also those friends, who, similar to me, are living their own best life. I have that same, pure happiness for them as well. (You also know who you are, I hope!)

Then there's me... I hope I'm not alone, and if having similar conversations with others points to anything, then I know I'm not. Don't get me wrong, there's not a big gaping hole, or a void that I think could be filled with children, there's not sadness that I'm missing out on something beautiful, and there is certainly not doubts that I took a wrong path somewhere in my life. 

But, what there is, are questions. I'm sure there always will be. However right now, where I'm at in life, it seems to be more difficult questions than I ever remember. 

So, if you're totally, 100% comfortable and happy in your life with whatever it is (family, single, married, etc.) then take a deep breath and be grateful for that. You are truly blessed.

If you are uncertain, and you're not sure what or where you want to be, or should be, then you're not alone. But you're here and you're aware of your own feelings. So likewise, take a deep breath and know that, you too, are blessed.

Lastly, if you're reading this then thank you! Thanks for listening and I hope on some level, you can relate. You are the only YOU that can be. Isn't that incredible?

here's what creativity means to me.

I had a teacher tell me one time that my creative writing must have been taken as a joke and that it wasn't art. It was something about Rocky Balboa being stranded in the middle of a field and digging his way to China to find people... I can't remember, but I know it was funny. And it was creative! I'm not bitter or anything (can you tell I hold a good grudge, sometimes?). 

Ok, so anyway... If you know me, then you know I'm married to a wickedly creative genius and even though he never, ever, under any circumstances means to be, he can be intimidating! If you sit in front of him and watch him draw, or paint, or create something, you become mesmerized. It's some kind of magic. And then, at least for me, I'll try to draw something and it's comparable to a mess that Frankie would make in a mud pit. What I'm trying to say, is that Frankie makes some really beautiful messes, ha! 

But here's the real thing... creativity can be anything! And if you feel confident in it, and you enjoy what you're doing then KEEP DOING IT! Don't compare it, don't criticize it too much, but just relish in the feeling that it gives you.

Here goes it - I love photography! I follow many photographers, I always click on photography links when browsing the web and I'm constantly seeing, or thinking of opportunities to photograph my every day life. I'm not a professional and I, by no means, provide, or sell the best thing you'll have ever seen. But I enjoy it so much that it's become a consistency in my life, which is saying something for this serial hobbyist. But, just like many others, I compare, and critique my own work so much that I convince myself it's not that good. So maybe the color doesn't pop the way I want it to, and maybe the lines aren't as sharp as they should... Maybe I photographed everything under the wrong setting and now the photos are grainy. (definitely been there, done that!) But when I look back at some of my favorite photograph's, after the fact, I'm proud of them! And I guess I really don't need a critic, or an audience to tell me otherwise. I'm really trying to worry less about how others might perceive something and just focus on how it makes me feel... So, with that being said, here are some of my personal favorite photographs that I've snapped. Whether I like it for the quality of the work, or the meaning... whatever it is; I'm putting it out there. And you should too! If you love it, and it makes you happy, then show the world! We want to see it. Few things make me happier then seeing other people happy. You'd be hard press to find an angry Renee in happy company. It's just not me. 

winter traditions.

Lake Erie near the Flats.

Hi there! 

I hope you're staying warm wherever you are. And I really mean wherever you are! Crazy, this weather has been!

Well, because of this weather, I feel like I've been trapped in the house more than usual which means I don't have too much to blog about. Whomp, whomp! As I was sitting here, crocheting a scarf and thinking about what I could still blog about I had an idea! Here's the thing, I crochet when it's cold because a.) the things I crochet are primarily used in the colder weather, and b.) I use whatever I'm crocheting as a tiny little blanket, ha! 

So there it is. That's my idea. Goodbye! Just kidding - it's my winter traditions! Here's what I tend to do in the winter, or do more than usual.

I drink tea all year around in the morning, but in the winter I find myself having much, much more! In the evenings I like to have my calming tea to not only get me ready for bed time, but also to warm me up. I'm sure I've talked about it enough, but my favorite brands are Traditional Medicinal and Paromi Tea.

Ahem. I mean... What else do you do in the middle of a blizzard when you're going crazy being stuck in the house? Check out those new Cleveland breweries, of course! Cade and I recently visited Bad Tom Smith and it did everything but disappoint. The crew was great, the beer was incredible and the decor was magnificent! It's like being in a modern day saloon.

I try extra hard when the weather is frigid to take care of my plants. I don't want them to be too cold, under watered or over watered... So it's a daily thing this time of year instead of weekly. I've already lost one plant.. SUCH A SAD DAY!

Spend time with family! A couple of Saturday's ago I went to my moms, in my jammies, plopped down on the recliner and enjoyed the whole day doing nothing with her, my sister and sweet Lilah. I've relived that day several times in my head since then! Nothing like being home...

Hehe, this is more of an obsession. I'm like Oprah with my candles - THE BATHROOM GETS A CANDLE! THE LIVING ROOM GETS A CANDLE, THE KITCHEN GETS A CANDLE, YOU'RE ALL GETTING CANDLES! I wish I were exaggerating. 

While I always try to have a book that I'm reading, I think I excel in the winter. I was recently looking at a website to get a new book and out of the five suggested readings, I had already read three of them. It felt like an accomplishment, but also kind of like "oh crap! what if there are no more books?!" (side note: I know that won't happen, but some drama is fun.)

Not pictured is crocheting! I thought for sure that I had a picture of that, but I do not. However, maybe eventually I will post some of the things I'm working on, or have finished. It's so relaxing to me, and I am one of those people who constantly need to be doing something with my hands so it certainly keeps me occupied.

OK, that's all for this one! Stay warm, and enjoy whatever you might be doing to get you through this winter. 

let's negotiate for longer weekends. [links]

Happy weekend! 

Don't mind me. I am just clinging on to the only memories that remain of warmer weather over here... It is currently five (yeah, like, as in, 1, 2, 3, 4, FIVE) degrees right now. But enough about the weather! 

Well, hear me out... One more thing about the weather and then I am done. The BOMB.

In my last post I opened up about my current obsession with Netflix's "The Crown" and then I saw this. Some of those are crazy accurate! Personally, my favorite character from the show is John Lithgow as Winston Churchill. Bravo! I thought he was tremendous. 

Here's a couple of my favorite things lately: 

FIRST, and most important of them all - Cade gave me the best, most exciting and thoughtful Christmas gift: 23 and me DNA Genetics testing. I already mailed it back and can't wait to get the results!

Last weekend I purchased this super affordable foot stool for our living room and ... it really ties the room together. (JK, kind of.. Get it, though?) Anyway, for $20 it's sturdy and does the job. Plus, it's pretty cute, too.

(!!) Current FAV cocktail alert (!!) Either a.) grapefruit juice (100% grapefruit juice.. nothing sugary) and vodka (with a smidge of salt) ... or ... cucumber vodka with soda water (la croix is an excellent choice!) and a splash of lime. 

Plain vodka is always Tito's and cucumber vodka is the flavored Effen

I know I've already mentioned it on here, but everything in this collection is a need. My personal collection is growing nicely already. Oh, and speaking of (!) - they're having another baby! I loved the news and was really bummed when I read some of the nasty comments that people were leaving... Leave them alone! 

One of my favorite friends gave me a very thoughtful basket for Christmas which included this brand of tea and I am obsessed now. As someone who primarily drinks tea over coffee, I have a difficult time finding a black tea that gives me the right amount of energy (not too jittery, not too dull) and Paromi hits the spot, perfectly! 

I'm still on the fence about my over-all opinion of The Last Jedi, but this article does a good job of explaining critics vs. audience scores. I really, really, really LOVED certain scenes from it, but there was also a bit that I wasn't pleased with. 

Speaking of movies; Cade and I are going to see Jumanji tonight! 

...and finally; if you're like me then you're always interested with who wins the big movie/tv awards this time of year. Here are some Golden Globe predictions which will be revealed at the end of this weekend (but who's rushing?!). (psst: best TV series - drama is seriously impossible to choose from. Wow!)

Ok, enjoy the weekend! I hope it moves slow and you enjoy it all. 

Much love! 

life lately (catching up!)

Oh boy, OK where do I even begin? Can you tell the holidays kept me busy? Not to worry though, my life is following the law at this four way intersection and it has come to a complete STOP. Good thing, too. Shall we explore random tidbits of the last month?

(Oh, and by the way... I still, regrettably, have not downloaded a single picture from my DSLR from over Christmas. I'm sorry, mom!)

Right-oh and back to it! 

Scout! We went to Cade's mom's house the week before Christmas and I finally got to meet this cute ball of preciousness. How sweet.. And also, what a show off. Right?!

...And how perfect is her tree? Perfectly perfect. I know.

  

        

(Look, I'm going to get right down to it here. I have never aligned pictures like that (^) before and I know they are lopsided... Just please be OK with it and let your OCD know that I did not mean for it to look like that, but I really can't do anything about it.)

Cade and I refurbished this little table into a perfect little home for our record player. Isn't it lovely?! I am really pleased with how it turned out.

Mr Franks has the winter blues. If he can't be outside running around like crazy then he MUST be inside cuddling with us. It's the only way for him to not suffer... I understand little dude.

See what I mean? A LOT of cuddling. Notice how he is under the blanket and on top of me... He climbed his way up. I love it but I also sometimes wouldn't hate to have a little breathing room. I manage though! 

Oh, while we're on the subject of down time... Anyone binge exciting shows over their holiday break? Here are the two winners for me: 

Goliath on Amazon Prime video 
The Crown on Netflix

Both are practically impossible to stop watching and the acting is phenomenal! 

It's totally fine... She loves me. Those are just tears of pure happiness because she is so excited to be near me. It's totally fine! JK, it's not fine. This little peanut gets very emotional when you have your phone out and it's NOT in her hands. You know that feeling? Poor thing. 

I already madly love Terrestrial Brewing but the fact that they kept their Christmas lights up (and so beautifully I might add) just made me love them that much more. If you are in the Cleveland area then I really can't stress how much you should come check this place out. Great staff and even better drinks! Don't just trust me though, let the four out of five stars on Yelp convince you.

As I type this I am trying so hard to not look at the perfect bowl of pasta above. Piada is, what I can only describe as, that meal where the first bite you take will change your life. It's essentially a Chipotle for pasta and everything about it deserves all the hype that Chipotle got when it became popular. 100% in love with this place. 

At any given time in the last week you could've asked "Right now (!), what is the weather like on the west side of Cleveland?" and I could easily, and without a doubt tell you it was snowing. Crazy! Just all the time, snow, snow, snow. And the single digit, frigid temps aren't helping. The snow is beautiful though. I definitely, more than anything else in my life, have a love/hate relationship with snow.

He kind of does too, but I think he might love it more than he hates it.

In case you didn't believe me about the constant, 100% of the time cuddles. 

Well, thanks for checking in! I have big plans for this blog in 2018 so here's to keeping them!! 

May the year ahead be the best one yet for us all!